Mar 20, 2009

Application for the post of Spouse


Name: Ashwin Jain
Address: Right now live on a platform. Reasonably nomadic in nature (sometimes unreasonably too). Will peacefully adjust in a tree house also though. Have stayed most of the adult years in Hostel and is extremely comfortable with dirt and dust.
DOB: versatile, with small adjustments in beard n haircut have potential to look between 19 to 27
Work Experience: Yes and No, considering I am an MBA and part of strategy group, I am well versed in giving customized answers. You can pick whichever suits your taste. (Take guarantee to defend it with conviction)
Projects Undertaken:
Couple of Projects undertaken but there are no documented deliverables. Was given PPO (Pre Placement Offer) on the basis of level of commitment but refused due to overlapping timelines.
(Have so far believed in faster and efficient operations. Most of the projects were completed within a year. Few in less than 3 months too.)
Educational Qualification:

  •  Can hold conversation ranging from pharmaceuticals, banking, actuarial, in flight simulation to rocket science.
  •  Knows the difference between varieties of stem of wine glasses
  •  Knows Salsa, Tango, Ball room dancing can also dance in a barat with equal ease.
  •  Knows how to use Chopsticks, Knife and fork.
  •  Knows how to say sorry and thank-you (the two most important words in any relationship)in 5 international Languages.

Soft Skills:
Brown hair, Brown eyes, white teeth, no acne, no dandruff
Additional Information:
Have received various utility information from the colleagues during the past projects. Have evolved listning skills and under developed ego.
PS: interested recruiters kindly drop in with their suggestive remuneration.

11 comments:

Abhishek Sharma said...

LIIAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

rekhs said...

i knew u cud do sumthng gr8 out of boredom.nd well well u havnt let me dwn.although i doubt d pouring of applicatns but job well done!!

Nefertiti said...

hw much do u pay??

Vishal Shah said...

Too good.... but i think people are confused in your blog that whether u r acting as a prospective employer or employee....lolz.... anyways a very good CV / Biodata template is set to be adopted.... :)

Ashwin said...

yes vishal you are correct.
PPl once again I am the one looking for recruiters...so shimonti...kindly rephrase :)

Unknown said...

Awesome CV!!! But its recession time... lol.. :D

Don't worry... Be patient..i m sure you'll get good offers...

Ashish Rathi said...

what the heck is this.. is this for job posting ur resume.. i thought u are supposed to post ur bio data...

Work Experience: you should also be a good receiver of commands.. will be useful...

Projects Undertaken : I remember some of them less than a weeks duration till u found that the task had already been completed by someone else ;)

Soft Skills : Walk ~ Talk for long hours...

:)

workhard said...

That was a good resume, Lemme know what job u find with this..


Haiku Poems

Anonymous said...

hillarious stuff man!1st time i'm visiting your blog.You sure can expect me around more often :)

Ashwin said...

@ aniramzee..welcme :) hope to see u arnd more often :)

Anonymous said...

And I hope you'll return the favour :)