Reluctant Readiness

It was a serene lake in the midst of the woods. We sat looking at the still water. She wanted to see the sunset and I was just staring in nothingness. Suddenly it felt we are talking differently may be.

It was getting dark and the light was fading .But then we still were walking among the woods and the light was not in our minds. Thousand thoughts running panic for the things we took effort in creating and could now see losing.

It was one of those times when truth hurts. Not because it has changed suddenly but it was always like that. We just never saw it like that. We keep the bar of expectations so high that there was always an underperformance. And in hope it might be achieved sometime we fuelled it more and more with energy.

It was dark now and time was definitely running short. We decided to put a conversation together. Light banter can fix so many odd moments. It has happened in past and hopefully again. An awful silence and we realized that we are friends but not the best friends yet.

Let’s play casual. I guess we both assessed self and each other wrongly. Not that we acted as posers but then you prefer showing your best side first. Sometimes in the acknowledgement of the other people`s company we forget that we aren’t really superhero`s. Very normal people with very normal shortcomings. The weakness of the human element is inevitable and the relationship is decided by the fact that you ignore it and still like the person or choose that the predicament will always be bigger than the solution.

It was over before it began. And all the planning and co ordination seemed incongruous to the occasion. Then you think may be it didn’t go as planned but it couldn`t go any more wrong. But fixing stuff with convenience happens in the movies coz audience does not return to check the aftermaths of living happily ever after. But in real life you still got to stuck it out.

Then it just went from bad to worse. It was difficult to be either attached or detached you can just be worried or concerned. But then I realized its too late for that too. Sometime I feel if I could turn back the time and not to commit so many mistakes and get smothered under the weight of too many sorry`s.

May be this lesson of life was still overdue. I admit albeit reluctantly