ugly cute pic...

the chilly gust of wind...
the comforting warmth of the quilt...
the half asleep floating happy state of mind...
its midnite... its my birthday... its cake time...candles...
they drag me down stairs... ragged pink pajamas...dishevelled hair, droopy eyes...
the countdown... the bumps... the delicious cake disappears... smack on the face...
brown hair... brown face... dripping chocolate...
the wind blows off the candle before me... its pitch dark... as dark as my face...
then you hold the candle to my face... then comes the ugly cute pic...
happy birthday to me...
one more year... one more birthday... sans one person...
miss you...

Reluctant Readiness

It was a serene lake in the midst of the woods. We sat looking at the still water. She wanted to see the sunset and I was just staring in nothingness. Suddenly it felt we are talking differently may be.

It was getting dark and the light was fading .But then we still were walking among the woods and the light was not in our minds. Thousand thoughts running panic for the things we took effort in creating and could now see losing.

It was one of those times when truth hurts. Not because it has changed suddenly but it was always like that. We just never saw it like that. We keep the bar of expectations so high that there was always an underperformance. And in hope it might be achieved sometime we fuelled it more and more with energy.

It was dark now and time was definitely running short. We decided to put a conversation together. Light banter can fix so many odd moments. It has happened in past and hopefully again. An awful silence and we realized that we are friends but not the best friends yet.

Let’s play casual. I guess we both assessed self and each other wrongly. Not that we acted as posers but then you prefer showing your best side first. Sometimes in the acknowledgement of the other people`s company we forget that we aren’t really superhero`s. Very normal people with very normal shortcomings. The weakness of the human element is inevitable and the relationship is decided by the fact that you ignore it and still like the person or choose that the predicament will always be bigger than the solution.

It was over before it began. And all the planning and co ordination seemed incongruous to the occasion. Then you think may be it didn’t go as planned but it couldn`t go any more wrong. But fixing stuff with convenience happens in the movies coz audience does not return to check the aftermaths of living happily ever after. But in real life you still got to stuck it out.

Then it just went from bad to worse. It was difficult to be either attached or detached you can just be worried or concerned. But then I realized its too late for that too. Sometime I feel if I could turn back the time and not to commit so many mistakes and get smothered under the weight of too many sorry`s.

May be this lesson of life was still overdue. I admit albeit reluctantly

those missing years

Birthday happened last week. This is that time of year when suddenly you became centre of attention. People from far off place will call you who haven’t returned your calls. You feel happy if your phone rings nonstop though out the day. This day you feel no lack of sleep no over exhaustion of partying just a standard happy feeling. It doesn’t matter if deadline hasn’t been met it can still be postponed. Doesn’t matter if you have achieved anything in the past 1 year. It’s a no judgment day. You have liberty today anything and everything.

And when all the hoopla vanishes and its Monday again you come back to senses. Detoxify the liver and restore the mundane life against the monitor and excel then it clicks did you counted the candles on the cake? No, I am not scaring everybody with the crazy thoughts about horrors of ageing. Suddenly you feel grown up. Not old, I mean not yet but grown up…you feel for those good times. Times with friends where you didn’t bothered about getting up early next morning, manners and sophistication the times when life was just one big party.

When eyes were filled with dreams and possibility and not a strain of tiredness. When you thought about owning a yacht and a island not the rentals for 1 BHK in Andheri to Bandra. Not that we never complained, we might be champions at cribbing but decisions were not really compromises.

Suddenly you are 27, when it seems 21 was just yesterday. All those years when you have decided to build career brick by brick and save money for that Island or Euro trip. It feels like the missing piece in the Pie of life. All that you have lived but without sufficient memories. Lack of sustainable memories where you calculated only your take home and not the snapshots experience to write in life`s slam book.

This post is dedicated to those missing years where I grew up faster than I had wished. Learnt, battled and tried hard to find place for myself in the world and ground under my feet .When I was faster than my ability to make memories and life was not pardoning for the slow runners. But as they say… Many happy returns of the year to come.

The Paranoia now

I don't know what social phenomenon it is called but i suddenly feel good about my self and the country.I know more than 200 people lost their lives and My country has been called as Big Fat Sitting Duck in international circles but all this has made me feel more patriotic then ever before.More then when India won T20 or Pokharan nuclear test. The Public outrage which has followed suddenly made me feel so alive and determined that no levels of election promises can denounce it.

I am so happy that elections are not so far away and wasteful regional and religion issues will not be able to compromise things like National Security

Its easier to say that enough is enough but dont forget one thing outrage is turning out to be a little urban in nature.Public discontent should not stay confined to learned or literate.I am saying if you want the corrupt politicians to stay away then we must think like them.Kill the concept of vote banks.No point generating outcry among 5% of the total voters.We must ensure the rural and poor of this country should also know how their lives are being kept for mortgauge by the politicians.How vulnerable we are to any terror attacks and how apathatic our representative lot has became.

Its not just a matter of holding playcards or lightining candles.I m not against it though but my plea is make each citizen of teh country aware how the corrupt politicians has made the country so porus and any body from any side of teh country can come and attack us.And how the choices we make now will decide the development, economics but also also our lives in literal sense of the word.

Somebody said it correctly: Politicians are like diapers.Must be changed when soiled else it will give rashes and discomfort.

Mumbai Spirit…..yeah rite!!!

60 hours of high Octane action thriller with the bloodshed which can put Quentin Tarentino to shame? But how I wish it to be just a movie where I would have appreciated American visual effects and gadgetry, SWAT commandos and Navy seals. But unfortunately it was the real blood of my brethren. The images filled with gory incident and political hollow speak makes me angry, dazed and embarrassed at the same time.

Sometimes I feel that the whole India should be termed as Heritage site. Not just we have Old forts and ruins but also prehistoric policies, self sustaining Infrastructure and really antique Politicians as artifacts.

I was really angry when I started to write the post, but it’s easy to be angry and curse but irony here is nobody will listen. I mean we are so foolhardily proud that it’s downright stupid. We don’t want help Israel`s Help nor FBI `s help..Why just coz we are the second most populated country in the world and can afford to let some 1000 people die in last 6 months.

So what is our defense? Commandos being commuted in BEST buses. Helicopters arriving after 14 hours of the incident. I am not saying pull all the politicians in a line and shoot them. Coz that is easy to say. I know people crying we won’t tolerate it and Let India Not be scarred again and again. But why is public memory in India so short? I want the Burnt TAJ to be there for a while to remind me this is my country. I want those horrific photos to be framed and put at all train stations to keep reminding that among those dead could have been anybody.

Mumbai Spirit. Called once again for the rescue. I just fear for the day when it will just get tired and refuse to come. Sensibilities are stretched and personal loss of land and lives is higher magnitude than anything it has borne before.

We are like this only” it’s not just a famous book but Indians favorite tag line. But I guess it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy where sometimes we take ignorance is bliss far too seriously. So the Mumbai will fight back..like Ahmadabad did, Like Jaipur did then why can’t we have only these spirits as security in charge why waste money on paying petty salaries to security personnel who will at the end of the day will save Mayawati from here Dalit followers rather than the country from the terrorist Attacks. Or why waste tax payer`s money on Intelligence Agencies which end up spying for One political party on another. I mean the average IQ of an Indian is high and average IQ of the Politician is low so who needs Intelligence Agencies rite?

I appreciate the news channels pledge to not to let people forget. I know making news is there bread and butter and may be the programming is filled with vested interests but even unintentionally they are doing a big help to the country. We proved in the case of Jessica Lal and we can prove again if required this bottoms up approach to democracy can be more rewarding on long run. Suddenly Politicians boycotting media and media happy to oblige. I don’t know if this is good or bad for the country but definitely a pleasant change from watching elected clowns making callous statements

Leo you still d same in mi heart

Introduced to me by Shantaram

I gave myself mi PPO treat here

Gaji announced hes getting married here

Those Beer Towers

Chequred Tablecloth and super cramped spaces

Anjana`s treat

Starters and Converastions

Wishes and memories

Drunk and resposible

Brave And Spirited

m with you LEO

Take your Pick

Mumbai`s Skyshot is one of my favourite sights.Some times more soothing then standing at gateaway of India and looking towards Taj. Or lets say whats remain of it.I had earlier written post by the Title : Who`s war is it anyway...I guess freash attacks have answered my questions.If not completely but has simplifid it to a resonable degree.Its very clear now..Take your Pick.Which of the photos of the country are more applealing to you.Coz the war is not for money nor for terror..Its for the PRIDE.

For they dont want acceptability..nor they want a different nation.who wants to manage things.They are the Mongolian Army of Medevial periods.Trained only in warcraft not in humanity.They need nothin neihter history nor culture.They are the looters they will just take your pride and march off. So dear Indus Valley Civilisation so what Chengez Khan spared you 500 years back...Survival is still as crucial ...those Mongol tormentors were called Ghosts of the East. And So is these freash blood of terrorists.20 somethings ready to attack in commndo type operation after minimum 5 years of Army training. So please drop legacy of Gandhi and Non-Alignment of Nehru now..nobody cares for your Buddist mannerism and axioms of humanity in the jungle.

Killing Animals is always better then teaching them Ahimsa.

Big Yellow Taxi

Wats tru for all the Planets in the Galaxy mite not be applicable here.Coz this is most loved city in the World..well its ok if i have not been to the whole world but so wat. My first glance in a spectacular city frozen in time was to the Mighty Taxies running on smallest metropolitan roads...

Well usually roads are for commutig from one part to the another.They arent the colloseum for the gladiators to run loose with their elephants.But then if its a showcase then latest off my Travel List Kolkata wins handsdown (Actually Lansdowne.:))..Would you believe taxies here are bigger than roads..liek teasing Mumbai that its got bigger vehicles as Taxis.Also known as our own Amba-Ssadder..But Dude aint smebdy forgot to make bigger roads for the same??

Measurement

As a Kid I used to get really fascinated by hw we determine centimeters, inch or foot. Numbers determine these units or are numbers are in turn being determined by these units.Its nt really so complicated actually most of it is ease of counting. Like it would be difficult to count the length of 3 football grounds in inches. or length of a table by a Kilometer.

Ok les nt get more philosophical. The whole thought came whn my repeated blog became stories of how was weekend spent. Our weekdays are either so packed or so boring that we measure our life and of those around us by the weekend stories. So this weekend I went to Pune.

To meet friends and party… Wow how original and new was that.

So did I met the friends I had come looking, or did I managed to break into a party of a lifetime.  Was the objective of the journey was achieved..to learn all this and more pls reads the following :

Cigarette make ppl do crazy stuff and such a nice, supportive passive smoker that I am me and Sam ventured looking for the elusive smoke at 2 in the night. All this after we manage to scrape some food and that was after he picked me off the highway after making me wait for some 40mins in the middle of the night.

So when all the shops were closed we found two Mallu`s smoking away to glory. With some forced conversation we realize they are very unlike us.(thy were jus mallu ppl nt aliens).unlike bole toh they were Graduates in a course called Mecatronics. Now tell me how many of you have heard about it. They were some cool dudes doing some (I mean of course he told me wat it was about : ) ) research in robotics. Me B.Com againt Robotics..u have to give it to me that I was impressed.

Went to the college. It was nice to be back at the place where I wasted 2 years. Sometime wasting time n self is so much fun and relaxing. So it was really nice to be back to familiar placewhere things are still slower than the working world. So it was again CorpComm, Tamanna and Juice center. Happy memories!!!

Evenings were usual. two guys all dressed up and nowhere to go. so we roamed around and roamed around and finally landed in a club which is currently the most hep club of the town. we managed nt coz we looked the HEPPEST bt cz we knew the manager. Its feels awesome whn you meet some bdy u knw so out of the blue and that too in a city like Pune. I haven’t met nebody I know in Andheri

After so much of bonding the perfect end to the story ws to watch Dostana together J.However shitty was the movie but I am in Love wd Priyanka Chopra now.

Thanks Sam..trip ws awesme,Thanks Priyanka u were awesme too,Thanks Robotics..i feel intelligent already,thanks college I am here bcoz of you and thaks to the manager at INDYAKI (thanks for the discount and free starters also)

For more weekend tour diaries..keep cheking the this space and local listings

Getting up late

Don’t match hue n contrasts for the office wear

Bad breakfast gulped wdout a hitch

Wasted more time on gtalk n blog

Lunch again was as slow as possible

Extended tea breaks..i mean extended

Projects either done or no further lead coming during the day

No meetings..no review..nt even toying with excel

Everythin in slow-mo

Today is one of those days

The Firsts

Sometimes normal conversations offer some uncommon insights. Sometime mundane questions force interesting scenarios. And many a times you just go back in time n ponder about yourself.

I wasn’t really in self indulging introspective mood when the question of firsts came into the conversation. But then I like surprises  . So here are few firsts of life

My first bicycle: it was called street cat. And funnier then name handle guard. But it never died on me till the time I got bored of it. Considering the loyalty it showed It shd ve been called Street Dog don’t you think?

My first Music System : Again a dumb looking stereo from Philips. The first cassette of lucky ali I bought with it.I still have both.

My first Levis : A combined effort of prize money from the quiz & incredible cost cutting on party,Discs and clubbing. Jus kiddin d prize money was sufficient  No I don’t have it anymore..ugh it mite ve still fitted.

My first-Adidas, Reebok & Nike: namely sweatshirt, shoes and cap. Just the stupid things you do growing up.

My First Bike: (Also the only so far) Discover 125cc...Was left with no money for the petrol after the down payment so dint really rode it for next 10 days.

First Job: Very confusing. Mostly waste of time but made a good friend. we have decided to elope when we will be arnd 80.

First Boss: He was hitting on the aforesaid good friend. Short, Black and irritating (lil irrelevant now though)

First Cell phone: Fat and strong and golden color…had to change in 3 months due to the color.

First Foreign Trip: Waited an hr in freezing cold for somebody to come and pick up. Wrote travel stories every week.

My First Date: Met her mom along wd her. And the conversations about Micro economics .Actually aunty is still nice to me 

My First Kiss: An anticlimax...was over before I could decide whether I should keep the eyes closed or open.

The bullet pt.syndrome

when i read about it earlier.I thot its nt really tru bt nw it seems whn no. of ur blog posts rises the motivation to write long posts becames less and then the best possible shrcut is bullet pt. posts.easy to read..easy to write and everybody is happy.

I am not saying bullet points are uncool actuly they are jus convnient fr evybdy.Smaler sentncs.precise msgs.very apt for our mdern lives.whre  presure to be smebdy is mre than the pressure to be oneself.

I tink i ned a brk.I am gettin bored wd non activity in my life.repetatve blog posts.tryn to find thns to luk upto.The issue is actualy nt abt findin ur place in d plane bt to jus to figre out where u goin.Smetime u ned to shut ur mind from evrythin u hear or see n heed to ur heart.....wow wat a line.

So wat forces us for the orgnised life,categorise it well n articulate ur thots....why are we order obsessed. I mean chaos can also be beautiful. wat!!! u vent seen any modern art ever.
I am nt saying dres isnt ne order/symmetry there but then les say nt visible to untrained eye.

So les believe in helter skelter n trust in god to take care of the rest.
.....well wd lines like these i cn bcme a motivation guru...bt yeah i ve discussed dt alredy in mi earlier posts.bt doesnt mean i wnt do mi prt for the nature n destiny.

i will sit n add numbers to madness and good looks to chaos..
ohhk its nt so funy ..so wat

Pichle Saat Dino mein

Past 7 days have been quite astonishing or amusing so to speak. A small assortment of the stuff happened to me

· Got my Visa, Didn’t get the ticket

· So …Bye Bye Brasil

· And so to all the expat blogs, yahoogroups and tento a falar Portuguese

· Realization of what a waste

· Trip to home, knowing that there is still no better place than that

· Selling and buying dreams with a friend, despite knowing that most of it is untrue

· Meeting people who still care for me and how uncomplicated life becomes in their company

· Playing with so many nephews and nieces and thinking they were so small the last time I met them

· No sleep for 3 days at a stretch, And not because of stress

· More clothes shopping, another attempt to look cool

· Got new Sun Glasses, Lost the specks

· Gifting my ol phone to mom which means happy to be non connected for a while

· Got a new MP3 player, hail individualism

lines I liked

1. God is real, unless declared integer

2. Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

3. Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

4. Home is where the television is.

5. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

6. Death is hereditary.

7. Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

9.  Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else..

11. Experience is what a comb gives you after you lose your hair.

12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

13. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

14. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

15. I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it.

16. Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government.

17. The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and

then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I`m still here

Well heading is actually a double entrande but those who don’t know the other story .let it be. Well actually even those who knw…let it be. Butt all I was saying that after lot of non characteristic blog posts and no more happening weekends I am back to my basic writing…..which of course involves self pity :)


So a quiet weekend. I mean I thought I would be literally quite as I had to get a small surgery done inside my little mouth. (For those who are learned it’s called third molar impaction). But then doctor refused to operate and then it was only medicines and me and books.

I mean I am still a geek of highest order. Sometimes I do agree to it somewat sheepishly but I wd be more happier in crossword rather than a disc. Strange ways of life I think.

But then the world around us don’t stop. So now smoking in public is banned .Gud thought I guess. Had enough of passive smoking anyways .So no more Butts in restaurants..pubs..nd wherever and everywhere.

Sorries and Apologies..they have different stories of their own but anyways said and moved then realized so has the world.

Getting back to ol friends, support systems sometimes no systems

More issues at workplace attached with a single solution. Strange how a single panacea decides for so many predicaments. But now its like the more you know the less you understand. And worse cant even ask the question why me!!

But then these trivialities cant hamper the impromptu drive to lonavala, stranded hungry on the highway, rickety hotel ,noisy fan, oh nt so happening waterfall..well as we say..Life moves on.

||||| you can fill in the name for it....

A poem by my dear friend : Thnks Smriti for alowing to put it on the blog
Well just seems so fitting to my life too right nw


Perceptions and expectations,

Are a part of all relations.

Fulfilling one upholds the other,
Formation of one might never lead to the other!

But keeping up both is a mighty task,
What helps to maintain both is a social mask.

Sometimes the mask gets bigger than the person and the relation,
When perception becomes reality and expectations lead to exasperation!

It tires me to know my kin believes the perception,
But how to convey to them that the truth is not a deception.

Times have changed my ways but not me
I constantly feel I am against my family in a melee!

Till when will it last, who can tell?
I wish I could turn it around with a magical spell.

The burden of expectations is just too heavy,
Which cannot be distributed even in a bevy.

I want to fulfill expectations,
I want the others to have the right perception.

But a social mask I do not have and hold,
To pretend and play and deliberately mould.

Strength and patience is all I need,
Cause perceptions and expectations won't change indeed!

Public Apology

And I spoiled it all by sayin something stupid like …


Ever wondered why reputation take ages to build and seconds to break. Or trust takes hours and hours to build but is still so fragile. Or let’s say if you couldn’t stop, rationalize in your head, stream out in your mind, and end up doing something ridiculously stupid then does all the happy memories fade with it?

This is only an apology post. Especially for the person who’s dear to me .Apologies can’t have xcuses so there aren’t any. They can’t have reasons so there is none. It’s difficult to say sorry and make the other person believe that its more than a word but I would still try.

It’s difficult to mend the trust. Or bring back the time. But the public apology is xactly wat it calls for.

In the midst of character assassinations, in comprehensible deductions and some being just allegations. Let all be true. I am not talking myself out from anything nor mean to talk you into anything.

Just let me know if there`s still any chance left. I hope you still ve my no.

Like your life depends on it kinda stuff

Ve ya tried doing stuff just for the heck of it and next thing you knw that it just mite help in saving your life in future. I mean would you learn driving differently if you know u would be a truck driver in future. Or say a Best driver or blue line bus driver. Or what will go thru your mind while learning how to swim if you know that it can save your life in case of a plane crash in the ocean.


Like learning a foreign language and it mite save you from getting mugged abroad. or skimming through an article which later in future will help you in clinching a deal and saving self from pink slip.

Most of the times we don’t really care about the consequences when we are learning anything new say for knowledge sake. n it happens to save our lives or oder ppl`s lives. And when dis happns I jus wonder in laugh back thinking whether I could ve dne nethin diffrntly.

Its a funny question to answer coz mostly we do stuff only wid as much interest. I just only wish for wat all I ve learned I may use it sometime in life.I hate wasting Talent 

Waiting Game

It’s a waiting game
But who` s got the stop watch
Just keep the poker face
Oh you ain’t got any cards to play with.
Pretend. Everybody does it
Nonsense!!!Shame is a strong word.
Hush .We live in an appeased world
But isn’t making sense is a good thing
Yeah whining clown
Keep the restless adrenaline in line
Nobody has got the voice here
And even if you have .Don`t bother
Isn’t it colorless? I mean we are all living right?
Nuances of the game are different my child
Hear, but it may be a story so doesn’t speak.
See, but it might just be farce
May look an abyss but it’s not endless
Don’t try to follow the light coz it you won’t find
You can’t win coz nobody wins.
You just play your part.
Till somebody come and change the script.

Ode to “Enthu”

Today was Vishal`s last day at office. He`s finally off to chasing dreams in Swiss Alps. It sounds kinda cool ugh. It’s much like chasing rainbow on top of the hill. Wish Him all the luck for these dreams to be more colorful than untouchable rainbows.


My partner at the bench from past 4 months, His enthusiasm has saved me from being wreck at times.


Things I`ll miss Vishal

1. You being the first follower in my blog page

2. Homefood…it was awesmmm

3. Lists..Packing list/medicine list/grocery list/utensil list..etc etc

4. 3 straight years of fasting .Even my MOM didn’t believed it

5. Cramps in the stomach the next day

6. My only JAINY friend

7. Crash course on local train travel

8. Our 4 tea breaks in 8 hrs wrk day

9. Our twice in a day tag team visit to HR

10. Repeated Talks on food/cookery and social acceptability in foreign land

11. Borivali and wonders of its world

12. Tender Coconut ice-cream

13. Root Canals and everything related with the misery.

14. Our transition from Investor to “Long term investor”

15. All the updated business news and buzzing stocks

16. Teaching you Activa in pouring rains

17. Our vague projects and not so different approach towards them

18. Expat blogs and subscriptions to zillion yahoo groups

19. You passion for the cookie

20. Just being there laughing and smiling always and signifying that life can be lot simpler.


So my friend besides chasing dreams on Swiss Alps you can Ski , Eat Chocolates, Roam around in Europe and keep sending me the accounts of your discoveries.

Surprise Me

I have loads of time to write long and huge blog posts...


But then I guess I got carried away and the amateur writer in me took over and I started writing stuff heavier than myself. But I guess after requesting people to add to my follower s list to which some people grudgingly relented and in lieu had to promise no huge serious matter overdose.

So we shall mark the return of the self depreciatory humor.



Things which surprised me this week

• Serious blog posts

• And Historic Delhi post

• Goa in rains..

• My Nuvo amigos( new friends) from LatAm

• My knowledge about Venezuela`s inflation and Sao Paulo`s cost of Living

• Their amazement on 1.5$ beer and 10$ Shirts

• My company`s HR

• I actually started liking BigBoss

• 2nd trip to Mondy`s in a week and still loving it

• Standing on stairs and listing to random stories at 3 am.

• Vishal Shah making his 5000th list

• Spending weekend by reading a shitty novel

• Getting up at 6 am for the third day straight

• Losing all my Portuguese notes

• Staring out of the window …even when it was not raining

Whose WAR is it anyways….

It s said sometimes profound realizations happen at the most unexpected times. I would like to ask all a question. How well do we know our country? Well its turning out to be more patriotic blog off late but the definitions of being Indian sometimes surprises me.

I was sitting with my firang friends and sipping beer on the beach at Goa. And the casual banter was hovering from dusky Indian Women to sanctity of marriage...to caste system…to international Politics ...even Anti Trust laws of America and revolutionaries and dictators of the world.

Then Out of the flier came a question that why had there been terror attacks in INDIA. What’s the objective of these terror attacks? What exactly these terror organizations wants to achieve after all.

Well are we as a country tolerant to a limit where it seizes to matter. Are we so used to of terrorism that it has blended in the Indian-ness that we longer bother about the objective of such attacks? We are not really America…the most hated country .we are neither at the brink of the civil war that you can call these terror attacks done by the revolutionaries. Then what’s the matter with us. Without such clearly laid objectives it’s just looks like some Kid is playing with bombs and in our nonchalance we are letting him.

The whole rationale of terror attacks has became so hollow that even if we try to attach it say with …freedom, jehad, revolution, oppression, disturbance..it just not fit any criteria.

So shall I sit down and see the cracker show killing innocent shoppers and kids or we need to stand up and say I love my country and will save it from any Mad man who wishes to ruin it.

Where did my City of Djinns go?

’’A labyrinth, a city of palaces, an open gutter, a landscape of domes, an anarchy, a press of people, a choke of fumes, a whiff of spices.’’

The story of Delhi is about survival - time and again, Delhi was ransacked and razed to nothing, yet it rose again, for which legend gives due to the invisible Djinns that have made Delhi their residence and protect it, and the curse that whoever rebuilt it would lose the city. The flavor of myth overshadows all aspects; past and present, making Delhi seem as fabulous as the Baghdad of Arabian Nights.

The forces that shaped Delhi over a 1000 years and beyond, leave tokens scattered around, some prominently visible as tourist landmarks. Yet others are unmarked ruins, their significance escaping passers-by. Still others are masked by conversion to govt. offices and hospitals. It is curious how many such exist undiscovered, leaving the city a still-fresh archaeological dig site. The city is vivacious in its soul.

While we occasionally still whine about the colonial influence on our culture, the reverse India Effect on the former ruler is deeper. But the modern day truth is how much of that baggage has been shed, and how little it is remembered. Delhi’s history has two predominant faces to it - the wild frontier feel, during the times of early Muslim invaders from the North and the early British presence, with its opportunities of rapid advancement, and violent ends. The second is the decay, self-indulgence and cultivated debauchery of late Mughal Empire. The Twilight Period seems the lowest point, between the two massacres and sackings of Delhi, one by Nadir Shah of Persia (when he made off with the fabled Peacock Throne) and the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857, after which the British destroyed a number of irreplaceable monuments in a petty display of vengeful spirit. Power shifts however were never easy or civilized at any time- the intrigues of the royal family during the Shahjahan-Aurangzeb period are colorful and gossipy.

May be the terror attacks deemed as acts of extreme contempt but Its DELHI. Where violence is no stranger and extreme violence on a mass scale seems to visit with cyclical regularity. Tyrannical rulers like Tughlaq, massacres by invaders like Nadir Shah, the Partition (the largest forced mass migration in history) that changed the demographics of Delhi completely, the Sepoy Mutiny, the 1984 riots after the death of Mrs. Gandhi. What does living on thin ice constantly, in such extreme hazard to life and property does to human beings. Does life return to its primitive essentials, or turn escapist? With the fear of losing all in the next riot, strangely there is more clinging to materialism, not less.

It’s a city which does not follow a single language mannerism. Neither the regional contrite. It’s just as proud as the capital should be and as royal as Nothing has changed since mughal rulers. What makes it more interesting is that it’s not economy which derives the place after it has been ransacked, shaken and stirred but the brave face it has kept to pull itself up time and again.

So may it be Hijbul Mujahidin or SIMI ,terror can take newer names. It may be the city of Djinns and jinxed to rebuild itself every few decades. You can only deface the edifice but cannot mar the regalia.

PS: with help from "City of Djinns" by William Dalrymple

Vaccinated!!!

The beaurocracy is an astonishing thing. It rejects the Newton’s third law. It has such fancy ways in which really nobody gains anything, surprisingly not even corruption sometimes.

Requirement:
There is a mandatory requirement to get yellow fever vaccination in case you wish to go to countries with the yellow fever risk. Else when you come back you shall be quarantined and will be put up in the hospital captivity for 7 days.

Ordeal:
This is India and an age of Jugad. So hence we thought us`ll manage…

So three gleeful fresh MBA`s with air in their hair and sand on their feet went to find out how do get oneself punctured and move closer to the countries of our dreams. We met with an absolute uninformation.Which is still ok but then if you ask somebody they can tell you versions which motivates you so much that you say “come wat may”. So we were not just motivated...but determined and disciplined. We used our status and sent an office boy to get ourselves registered for the shot. Interestingly the registration is to be done at 5 am, so that u can forward ur Arm and say “Come’ on baby gimme the shot“ in the evening.
 And as told after registration we went to try our luck at 12 in the afternoon. Right in front of the Arrival Gate. (Of the new flashy international Airport) there is a Tinshed.With the Airport Canteen toilet board painted on the other side by “Yellow Fever Vaccination Center”. Trust me rural pulse polio drop centers will look better than that. But then you can’t fight the system so we stood in line.
 Haggled for our No. Realize that they give only 40shots a day. I mean LOGIC???..but that’s how it is ..only 40 shots..no it’s not free..no you can’t pay more and get it done..no if you are in a hurry then that’s only your problem. Not even if you reach in time you can get it done.40 means 40 n rest of the reason can go to hell..I guess it’s a measure the government is utilizing to restrict the brain drain. But dude IIT`ians goes to Amerika for Ph D. Why stop people who want to go to Kenya and Madagascar.


You are supposed to register for it at 6 am. Now the registration sheet is actually just a old cardboard sheet..which somebody has kept hanging outside the door. Actually it looks more like a dogs beware kinda thing but then what the heck. We as ardent and stubborn prototypes so we reached at sharp 5.15 am. AND surprise! Surprise! Surprise!..we were 40th ,41st and 42nd. I mean people gimme a break.
 Then we reached again. More determined to get poked. Stayed and shifted in the lines. sometimes haggled without lines and eventually used the “foot in the door” policy quite literally.

And here it was. Our prize possession..A needle A vial and a person who called himself Doctor.(certified).God knows about what was there in the vial but the certificate he gave me after that is definitely yellow.


And Alas I am vaccinated..!!! and feels like a War hero 

Wonder Years!!!

I am not really Nostalgic types and rather progressive. So I get a little uncomfortable at the alumni meets. Then there are fears about who is doing what and I am stuck like a loser cribbing and bored at the job. There are expected flashes of money. Signs of indulgence and materialistic comparisons in the spending race. It can very easily get phony and pretentious. Considering we are talking about SRCC alumnus there’s is no limit at which the abundance can go.

So I had my reservations when I got the Invit. List of lost people. Some I wish to see but most I didn’t wish to compare. So finally I went with my apprehensions and enthusiasm restricted.

The room was full of formally dressed people adorned with tie`s and flashy suits and me in jeans and boots. But I guess that is where all the oddity ended. The moment I saw the people from college with whom I had stayed day and night for years. All those memories came back flashing. It just felt so close and in near past as if nothing has really changed. Nobody is judging me by my clothes, Or the intelligent conversations, Or the zeroes on the paycheck, Or unpronounceable names of the companies, Or beer guzzling or just about anything.

It was more to the implicit cord attaching all and all what matters is from where you belong. Everybody has its destiny and sooner or later one will get there. This bond is special because it’s with the people who have seen you starting the journey. Who have been with you in thick and thin during the hit and trial process of growing up.

They have been with you when you were hungry at 3 am in Delhi winters. They were with you when you went to see every shitty movie on Friday night. They were there always ...be it fresher’s, elections, cross roads and sometime just random fake fights outside the Audi to scare people. Useless conversations and bakar sessions with round-off timing clause. It was the wonder years which you wish never pass. Sometimes professional colleges cannot be like this and B-School doesn’t almost ever teach to be humble.

It was oh so music to the ears listening to Hostel Anthems and Songs. Being loud and rowdy with friends. Nonchalant dancing at public places even if for that small moment but to be able to flaunt “I care a fuq to the world” attitude. Felt years younger again Instantly.

PS: For all the unknown

Sri Ram College of Commerce has been given Heritage Status and is the site for the Delhi Commonwealth Games 2010.

More Blah

Blogging is like a habit..or sorta addiction .Portrayal of the emotions in public or washing ur dirty laundry in open and being quite cool about it. And most of the times these topics have no purpose and essentially nt much of substance.



Its like oceans of words about nothingness. Life stories…weekend stories..some are just stories .like there had been so many stories to inspire you and would miss something in life if you don’t stay updated with them .actually the objective is never about knowledge enhancement I guess .It’s just about let going first things coming to mind and being a showoff by putting it at a place which is publicly accessible.


Actually its jus cool to think yourself a writer. Act as a writer and feel like a writer. Coz at the end of the day we all know there’s no glamour in actually being the writer. So the euphemistic view is being the blogger. X-: ).



So I shall use the Google given medium to reduce the internal conflicts of life, reduce the anxiety and propagate free thought.


Disclaimer: Inconvenience caused is deeply regretted. Trust me...deeply.

Word about Faith and Religion

I belong to Jainism. Well mostly it’s difficult to say if I belong anywhere coz I have that nomad spirit in the head but all said and done Jainism is my birth religion.

 

There are things like acquired faiths and cults. I have attended Buddhist prayers, Sehej Yog shivirs but I am still with Jainism. Coming from a family which follows 3 religions I am absurdly unreligious.

I don’t call music my religion nor I am a atheist. I hate theology so what does belonging to a religious sect means to me. The post is not about sociology and needs of belonging to the cult or to say connect to the higher power. I guess I am not even qualified to answer that.

For me the gr8 Jainy Fast was actually more symbolic rather than religious.

 

12 years in type 1 diabetes...36 hrs without food and without water means a lot to me. It reinforces the fact that u can force the body to do anything if you are at peace with your head. Even if it means planning each drop of insulin and motion study to save every ounce of energy. I did 4 hrs of puja which is more than my cumulative total for the year. I did all the rituals and practices like I have been doing them from ages. And to survive with the shrunken intestine and churning stomach for 2 nights and a day can definitely make you feel the triviality of the temptations. Its an whole experience when you go through various emotions in 1 single day. Sometimes surprising oneself is very satisfying.

Coming back to the travesty of the Birth religion I do sometimes wonder even if we don’t follow the faith ardently we still end up reflecting the traits of the faith. It looks so designed and dt too so aptly that you wonder had it could be any different. May be at the end of the day its only about what you can achieve with faith and trust in God.

But ya for now only one step at a time.

One More

Nothin happened in past couple of weeks..that actually explains no updation on the blog. But yes I fully agree there have been no worthwhile sensible contributions from my side to change the face of the earth. Actually this medium of self depreciatory humor is also quite bland and over used to make people cheerful.

So one more weekend.
One more place where I reached as an uninvited guest
One more Coffee shop
One more coffee experiment
One more failed experiment
One more cancelled breakfast program
One more movie. Surprisingly it was good
One more drunk party and drunk jokes
One more meeting with some random women and already calling them friends
One more old monk wd hot water coz there`s infection in the throat
One more friend lost to Drama
After we had lost him to phone
One more Maggi for lunch
One more month end and gravity of phone bills
And food bills
And credit card Bills
One more Week of yellow fever vaccine stock out
One more paper needed for work permit
One more country got added in my profile
One more Episode of Spilitsville
One more Re-Run of Spilitsville
One more altercation and discussion over Big Boss 2
One More failed attempt at cooking
One more week running away from portugese torture

Phew Phew
Bachhe ki jaan lega ke choudhary!!!!

Long Live the “Moment”

Once upon a time…well not really in the picturesque Alps. But at our indigenous Bandra there was this Moment. It had come unannounced. Nobody knew why and what would be its life but then it was like the Mumbai rain...nobody can predict.

The genre of Moment is usually ephemeral but this one was special. It stayed. May be it had different destiny or may be it had some reason to accomplish. I don’t know I am not the omnipotent .I am just the narrator. So my job is to keep my eyes open for the moment to arrive.
So anyway we are still at the moment. It was again at the sea face and then again at Mudhgao.

It’s nice beautiful and hallucinatory. It makes world look flat and Sea charming.
Too much brain can kill the Moment. And a STORY can’t keep the moment anyways. So what shall it do because living is nice and it does wants to live long enough to be counted?

It’s naïve. All moments do get counted so would this one. Not really like the rest of them coz of course this is special. Or maybe that’s what I feel.

Long live the moment

Viral Attack

After big I-day hoopla I was down with viral attack. Viral`s are horrible as they just breaks down the body and you don’t feel like doing anything. Worse if you don’t live with parents and nobdy there to take care of you…falling ill is not a bright idea at all.

Making chai for yourself… eating khichdi for lunch and dinner…watching sad re- runs on TV. That`s life with viral. Well managed to catch up with backlog of sleep. Got hold of life a bit. It was getting too fast for my comfort. Got enough time to think about future present and past.

Sometimes I do wonder am I too serious in life or oversimplification is an hypothesis. Any which way..Damn Viral

Another dig at Independence

Well I got more than prompt replies on my earlier post on independence. With Vikash being downright angry. But no kidding he`s got a point. I mean what we have done to ensure the taken for granted Independence.

There were Independence Day celebrations at the work place. Skits and dances...more of cultural zig-zag. Well it was kinda cute but one thing which struck me was…

Why whenever we talk of Independence it’s always nostalgic. Those Old songs whose records are also not available anymore. Same old condolences to the soul of Gandhiji and lamenting to the tragedy what democracy and freedom has became. Some 85% people in a national daily`s poll believed that we have too much freedom. Freedom to park anywhere...freedom to horn anywhere...freedom to be politician so that we can commit a crime and get away…freedom to shirk away from public responsibility and blame it to the system. Freedom for the system to blame everything to the population...freedom to the population to blame it to the GOD.

And GOD is anything but Free. The poor guy is so fragmented in this country that he must have forgotten his true identity. People are willing to fight for GOD. Willing to fight for the road to the shrine…willing to fight for anything remotely associated with GOD. But is violence associated with GOD?

My whole point is it all sound cultural but let’s not care for the dead. Let’s care for the living and for those who are going to live after us. It does sounds like MJ`s song saying let’s make this world a better place but then where are our new age HEROES. You won`t find them in Bigg Boss right? Let’s get our hands dirty. Try something new. Start with 1 good deed a day or may be not doing anything against the nation today. It may be anything…just about anything ..atlest get started..who knows some day we might be able to make difference in people`s lives other than ours.

Running 62

Abhinav Bindra won India maiden Gold. Well I should be a proud Indian. To an extent I am .Its a moment in history for all of us. I wouldn’t like to whine and spoil the moment .Michael Phelps also has just won his 11th Gold. Which is 1 more than India has won (including the GR8 Hockey) in 107 years of Indian Olympic History.

So is 61 years of independence am I missing something.

Road from Chakala to Sakinaka is definitely looks 61 years old. So many buildings in the city are more than 61 years old. They are not heritage they are just Old and ready to collapse. Traffic was probably faster 61 years back. And of course there was more honesty and more warmth (lets not even get there.)So what is so special this year? India may be shining but there are massive powercuts. India may be rising so is the flood all across the country. India may be set for global takeover but ground realities are communal riots, bomb scares and gross political insensitivity.

So does my balance sheet have only liabilities and overdue loans? Or is there a silver lining.I may be a too realist. But when I move across the road and see lil kids begging I see no sun at the horizon. When I see people cramped like dead chickens in a local train it does not inflate my chest.

We Indians call ourselves a smarter race. IQ`s always 150+ GMAT scores 700+…but tell me one thing we Indians have achieved. No I am not talking about China winning most no. of golds. Or even Malaysia Building one of the tallest towers in the world. We are not even brazil producing 70% ethanol for the world. My questions are simple If we are so smart then why aren’t we so rich. If we are so good then why the labor productivity rates in the country are one of the lowest in the world. Or Human Index parameters don’t even apply here. The rickshaw rides of the country are categorized against the ostrich ride in South Africa. This may be funny about there is no other way to parallel our mode of public transport.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not been educated in Oxford nor even from IIT`s wishing to set up a venture in silicon valley. I am an average Indian who loves his country. Loves the fact that we are so loud. Loves colors and things related with it. Loves the curry and don’t mind calling pilgrimage a vacation. Loves answering the question about what Indian culture stands for and all the confusion related with it.

I just hope nxt year I have less questions to ask and more answers to give.

Career Counseling

After being an unsuccessful book critic with my last post I have became unsuccessful film critic too. So now my list of trying my hand at various career options has got longer.

For those who have just tuned in...i have tried:

Singer – everybody does ...but in my times these reality shows weren’t there so the talent got frittered.

Architect – (yeah like “Ted the Architect” from how I met your mother)

Painter- I still think it was a good idea. But I could not fit in the traditional definition of Art and my abstractions had trouble explaining themselves. I still do it though like once in a decade

Author- once upon a time I used to be a very serious individual with profound thought. Then I discovered that it is so much fun being shallow… so the author dream I let pass

Footballer- it’s got glam, It’s got the brawn, It’s got the money (see ur day dreaming then u must dream about EPL only right)...the only think lacking was the TALENT

Public Speaker- I will became some day. Actually wd have preferred to be a Diplomat but then Indian Administrative services…if I could study so much I would have became scientist and secured a Nobel

Banker – It says once a banker its banker for life. So unfortunately I have worked in a bank for 2 proud years of my life. And I made a decision never a bank a bank again. Banking system is like high rising inflation. Once you get stuck with it your present value keeps diminishing.

Credit Card Analyst –Once you work in this industry u wouldn’t want a card in your life time and will advice all your friends against it too. Just kidding but it was dumber than banking .Not for me.

Wild Life Photography- It’s a lot of fun but it meant roaming around in jungles with only the swanky SLR. I was seriously interested in it. But was seriously short of TALENT

Travel Expert – For those who have read the “Moscow Diaries” can vouch that I can do a decent job with it. Might join Discovery “Travel and living” some time in future.

Finance Executive: Yeah ..boring but true. Gotta do something for living right

-So here I am Blogger without any specified ambitions and plans and hypothesis.


Careers I am still hopeful for:

Fashion Photographer
Tarot Reader
Mountaineering
Masseur at the beach
Graffiti Artist
Professional Kayaking

----ne bdy got more interesting idea can contribute.

Don bother about the skill set and personality type that is a very fluid concept in my case 